That is the message I find myself consistently giving to clients in healing and spiritual development sessions, despite them being spiritually aware and well-practiced people. It shocks them!!
And the shock is that they are not aware of the depth of the one thing that is really holding them back, until they start to see it through my guidance and their own hard work.
And what is this one thing?
The feeling that they are not good enough, which means that they don’t live the life they deserve.️
It limits them so much. It limits their intimate relationships, it limits their success in their career and it limits their progression on the path of self-development and spiritual growth.
If you just pause for a moment, close your eyes and reflect on this question for a moment. What arises will help determine your natural tendency in which you approach this question.
What do you find?
People will either tend to come from a more earthy self-care perspective or the deeper non-dual viewpoint. In the earthy self-care perspective the focus will be on improving the body’s health or improving your conscious beliefs, whilst in the deeper non-dual viewpoint the focus will be on challenging the identification with the sense of “I-ness” keeps all the beliefs about not being good enough in place.
To feel good enough, the answer is not one perspective. Instead, it is a subtle and delicate integration of both perspectives into your life, as the earth self-care and deep non-dual viewpoints combine to create a person who really feels deeply good enough.
In the earthy self-care perspective, we look after ourselves better. The first thing is to really look after our bodies through eating a good diet, spending lots of time in nature and exercising appropriately. This helps us our body feel great. We are then much more likely to feel great in our emotions, mind and spiritual well-being because a healthy body is directly connected to all these factors that help give us a sense of how good we feel overall.
To support the care of our body we can also directly work on our conscious beliefs. This can be through positive affirmations like “I am worthy of abundance” and gratitude practices, which lead to a change in our core conscious beliefs about ourselves and enhances how good we feel.
Now, is vibrant health and a positive abundant-filled mindset enough to make you feel completely good enough? No!
I see many clients who are working so hard to feel good enough with the methods I have described above but still can’t seem to attract the kind of life all their hard work and positive vibes deserve. This is because they aren’t looking at some of the underlying “real ego” issues.
You see, the ego isn’t just being full of arrogance, thinking you are great and being the loudest person in the room. Sometimes it’s the obvious and often very subtle sense of self that we all tend to hold onto.
The belief underpinning all our feelings of not being good enough is that we are a separate individual identity. This belief is so deeply ingrained in the consciousness that it takes immensely deep self-inquiry work to start to undo this illusion and come from a place that is always going to feel completely good enough. This is a place I call the “zero zone”. When you touch this place through deep self-inquiry the battle of trying to be good enough stops completely because the very tenant of the striving is shown to be false.
You see, often all this work to improve our body’s health and our conscious belief system comes from an underpinning feeling that we are not good enough. It is so subtle though. Sometimes practices to improve our levels of self-care may be coming from a place that does feel good enough and is just being practical, whilst at other times they come from a place that is trying to hide the shame of not feeling good enough.
So what can you do?
I advocate the implementation of both perspectives to get the best results with feeling good enough, as the temptation is for the “non-duality”, “no ego” and “no needs” to become new beliefs to hide in, to the detriment of not implementing proper self-care. Instead what is required is a full appreciation of your humanity. You need to take the “zero zone state” into all aspects of your life (the body, the conscious thoughts, the emotions, etc.) and still work on these aspects too with proper self-care.
And what is the best practice for all this work?
You guessed it…meditation!! 🙏
The most flexible and life-changing practice any human being can do. On the one hand, you can use it to tap deeply into the “zero zone” through advanced techniques that slowly peel away the sense of a separate self that doesn’t feel good enough, and on the other hand you can use it to improve your awareness of how you treat your body and use it as a visualisation or mantra to change core conscious beliefs.
What a wonderfully flexible and dynamic practice!!
With lots of practice in meditation and applied practice in normal life the integration of both perspectives starts to be seamless and you truly start to live the life your amazing potential deserves. All from a place of sincerely feeling good enough.