It might sound a little strange to read the words “sex” and “meditation” in the same sentence. I don’t know about you, but when I think about meditation, the image that comes to my mind is of monks, or people sitting in the lotus position. Their faces are serene, and their breath is soft and calm — not remotely the picture I have in mind when it comes to sex. If we dig a little deeper, though, we can see the connection, which is namely one thing leading to the improvement of the other. Think about this for a minute: when is sex really good? When we’re relaxed. When do we not feel like having sex? When we are stressed out.
With that in mind, how can meditation help our sex lives?
Sentient beings look for the happiness and try to avoid suffering. This is one of the most basic universal concepts and one that unites us all. Pleasure is one of the ways we express our happiness or how we are able to feel this happiness we seek. We can feel pleasure in many ways, especially sensual pleasures that come from eating, drinking, being warm, getting a massage and obviously, from sex.
Whether we have a husband or a wife, a one night stand, or just masturbation, we express our need for pleasure or connection in one way or another. That’s because having an orgasm releases all sorts of chemicals in our brains and makes us feel happy and fulfilled. The catch here is that, for this to happen, we need to be relaxed, rested and at the moment. We all know that on some level — we have never had a great night with someone who’s distracted, who was not paying attention, or who was not enjoying the moment. That’s true for us too. If we can’t relax and be in the moment, the night will not be pleasurable.
We know that meditation is the key to feeling that sense of rest and relaxation due to studies by physicians like Herbert Benson. His research showed that lower levels of cortisol and the activation of our parasympathetic nervous system are the keys to the relaxation responses in our body — and both of those things can be achieved through meditation, allowing us to reach a more calm state that can benefit us in multiple areas of our lives.
We know that meditation can help us lower our anxiety levels as well as be more focused and attentive to our emotions and the people around us. Let’s see exactly how meditation can also make our lives better in the bedroom.
We all lead challenging and sometimes chaotic lives. We rush around to keep up with work, studying, taking care of our families, or ourselves, all the while checking our phones every five minutes — so, it’s no wonder we’re always so tired. We don’t sleep well, we don’t get enough rest, we’re stressed out, and we feel guilty because we can’t do it all by ourselves. Well, the truth is that we can’t do it all, but the first thing we should do is take care of ourselves. Meditating gives us the rest that our mind and body need, allowing us to replenish our supply of energy.
High stress means higher levels of cortisol in our bodies, which also translates to no orgasms for women and erectile dysfunction for men. Think about yourself: how high is your libido when you’re stressed out about something? Not very high, I’d guess. Meditating helps us keep our cortisol and adrenaline low, and what’s more, it helps us to naturally produce more dopamine and serotonin, both known as the chemicals of bliss.
Mindful meditation is all about being present in the moment. Now, we all know that’s easier said than done, but that’s exactly why we practice. We are not going to become monks or experts overnight, but nonetheless, with time, we can become more aware, focused and present. This awareness, this presence, can do wonders for our sex lives as well because sex is about understanding what we feel and what our bodies respond to, as well as paying attention to our partners and their reactions.
So, how about adding meditation to the list of how you can make your romantic life even better? Lighting candles, having a nice dinner and talking are all aphrodisiacs we can use to give our sex lives a boost. They are well and good, but they are also outside ourselves, and we all know that it’s how we feel inside that defines how happy we are and will be. With this in mind, don’t miss out on the benefits of meditating when it comes to your romantic life. Tell us if this makes sense to you and if you see any difference in your sex life after beginning meditation.